Childhood Depression and Separation Anxiety

I said it before, childhood depression and anxiety often go hand in hand.  Shy children are more likely to turn their depression inward toward themselves creating a fear that can be hard for the child or anyone to understand.  Because of their fear shy children tend to be more attached to their primary caregiver and can experience separation anxiety. 

The biggest fear a child with separation anxiety has is of losing their caregiver and being alone.  At home with their caregiver is the place they feel safest and most secure. 

There are different levels of fear and anxiety; mild, moderate and severe but it’s important to understand that these children feel a terrible dread when they are away from their caregiver.  The child is afraid something bad will happen to their caregiver or something bad might happen to them but from my experience the fear seems to be more about losing the person they love most. 

When a child with separation anxiety is away from their caregiver they can have physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches and nausea to the point of throwing up.  They may need to stay in touch with their caregiver constantly phoning or texting; asking, “Where are you? What are you doing? Are you OK? Can I come home?” 

A child with separation anxiety may not want to go to school or anywhere without their caregiver.  The child may have a hard time concentrating when they are at school because they are focused so much on their fear and worry.  The child may cry because they want to go home and can be very difficult to soothe.  Just remember they are not being difficult on purpose.  They feel an anguish that is hard for them to control.  To them their fear is very real.      

 

When these children are with their caregiver they may cling to their parent’s legs or follow them around constantly.  In more severe cases the child may not want to go to a different room without their caregiver.    

 

Some children with separation anxiety may not even want to go to bed without their parent or caregiver.  When the child does go to bed he may need his caregiver to stay with him till he falls asleep.  Then if the child wakes up in the night he will often try to get into bed with his caregiver.  If the bedroom door is locked the child may sleep outside the caregiver’s door on the floor to try and be close to them. 

 

A child with separation anxiety may have recurrent nightmares of being lost or separated from his caregiver.  The child may dream about their caregiver getting hurt or killed in an accident or disaster.  He may dream about being kidnapped or taken away from home.     

Life is very difficult for an anxious child.  They carry the weight of all their fears on their tiny shoulders and can break from the stress and strain. 

Sometimes the world is a very scary place for children, especially children who have been hurt in some way.  I’m not saying all shy, anxious children have been hurt or abused but many have.  If you have or know a shy, anxious child please take notice.       

Many children, especially shy children, are overlooked and suffer in silence.  My greatest wish is that every child who needs help will be identified so they can get that help.  Thank you so much for reading my posts.  I hope they help.  I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful.   

Childhood Depression and Social Anxiety

Childhood depression and anxiety often go hand in hand.  Shy children who feel the pain of depression are much more likely to have problems with anxiety, especially social anxiety.

 

Many depressed children can have a hard time making friends or having normal friendships because of their social anxiety.  First I want to make clear the difference between social anxiety and autism. 

 

Children with social anxiety have the capacity to interact normally with other children and adults.  They want to interact and have friends but they can’t because they can be so afraid of rejection.  They’re afraid they may say or do something weird or stupid.  They’re afraid they’ll be made fun of.  They’re afraid of embarrassing themselves in some way. 

 

When a child feels this fear and anxiety her heart may race.  Her face can become flushed red and sweaty.  She may tremble.  Her voice may sound shaky and nervous.  These physical symptoms of anxiety can cause even more embarrassment which can cause more anxiety to the point where the child may have trouble breathing or moving.  It’s the fear response gone haywire. 

 

Most people have heard of the fight or flight response.  When a person experiences danger they need to prepare to fight that danger or run away but some people, including children with anxiety may be overly sensitive to fear and they may feel threatened in situations that aren’t physically dangerous but seem dangerous emotionally.  The fear of rejection from the world is a powerful and emotionally dangerous fear.   

 

When a child with social anxiety is put in a social situation she may try to hide anywhere she can like behind a parent or in a corner or behind furniture.  She may become so anxious she freezes up and doesn’t know what to do.  She may cry, struggle to get away or have a tantrum. 

 

These children may try to avoid social situations anyway they can, saying they are sick or have to go to the bathroom and because of this, children with social anxiety may have trouble attending school.  I know I missed more days than the average child because of my anxiety. 

 

A child may be anxious in certain social situations like public speaking or they may be anxious in most all social situations.  Social anxiety can cause a lot of problems with a child’s age appropriate social development.  They may seem younger or more immature than other children their age.  Anxiety often contributes to depression in children and vice versa.  Many times depression and anxiety are co-occurring and both may be diagnosed.    

 

I have said before that I began suffering from depression when I was 5 years old but I also suffered from anxiety.  When I was a child I was painfully shy.  I didn’t want to talk too or interact with people I didn’t know well.  I was afraid people would laugh at me.  I had very low self-esteem and no self-confidence.  I thought I was weird and ugly.  I thought no one could really like me because I was too different. 

 

Symptoms of depression like low self-esteem and low self-confidence can cause a lot of fear about how the child thinks the world sees her.  It’s a powerful fear of a world where she thinks she doesn’t belong.  I know from experience it’s a very painful fear and anxiety no child should have to suffer but shy, depressed children do suffer.  With help they can overcome their pain.  They just need to be identified so they can get help.

 

Do you think schools should assess children for anxiety?  I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful.  My next post will be about separation anxiety.         

Trauma

Childhood depression often begins after a trauma.  This post will be about the signs of trauma in a child.  Children, especially young children; can have a hard time identifying, explaining or understanding their emotions.  It’s very important for parents and anyone who knows or works with children to understand some of the signs of childhood trauma because children may not be able to express their fear and pain without help.  

 

A child who is having emotional issues related to a trauma may have recurring bad dreams about the trauma or can have bad dreams about monsters in general; under the bed, in the closet or chasing them.  Children may dream about a threat to themselves or others.  They may dream about rescuing someone they love from a threat or a monster.  Not every dream about monsters is a sign of trauma but if your child dreams about monsters often you may want to take notice.

 

Children who have experienced a trauma may become more high strung and jumpy.  They may startle more easily.  They may seem worried.  They may feel constantly afraid and constantly on guard so nothing can hurt them.    

 

Traumatized children may become more agitated or irritable than they were before.  They can feel guilt, anxiety, shame, anger, hopelessness and depression.  They may feel like they are bad or damaged and like they’ll never be normal.  They may feel like they are different and will always be different. 

 

After experiencing a trauma, a child can become socially or emotionally withdrawn.  They may not want to play with or interact with other children or family.  They may not want to talk much or give hugs and kisses.  They can become distant and may isolate themselves from others.

 

Children who’ve suffered a trauma may become more impulsive and irresponsible.  They may take more risks and do things that are dangerous or can cause them harm.  After a trauma a child may not care about consequences. 

 

A child may avoid situations or people who remind them of the trauma.  A child may avoid thinking about the trauma.  This can include having amnesia of part of the trauma.   

 

Children who are having emotional problems because of a trauma may re-live the trauma during play.  They may crash their cars together and talk about getting killed.  If they play with dolls, they may have one doll hurt or touch the other doll.  They may set up their toys then knock them all down, saying there was a tornado or flood.  If you are concerned, watch them play and have them tell you what their toys are doing or saying.

 

Traumatized children may have more physical health problems.  They may complain of stomachaches, headaches, nausea or other physical illnesses.  Like I said when I wrote about the symptoms of depression, a child may have more jaw pain or earaches.    

 

Children who’ve experienced a trauma may have a harder time making new friends.  The friendships and family relationships they already have may suffer because the child doesn’t want to interact with anyone.

 

Traumatized children may think they’ll never have a normal life.  They may think they will never grow up.  If a child has experienced several traumas, they may think life will always be bad or that their traumas are somehow normal. 

 

Some traumatized children may want to hide their trauma from their parents but with help from a therapist a child can come to terms with their fear and pain.             

 

How do you talk to your children about the bad things that can happen without scaring them? 

Do you think schools should assess children for traumatic experiences?  I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful.      

 

Childhood Suicide Part 2

If you are concerned that your child may be suicidal, take the child to the hospital immediately for assessment.  This post is a continuation of my previous post on childhood suicide.  In my previous posts I wrote about my own first suicide attempt when I was 8.  In this post I will be writing about suicide and the suicide attempt of a 5-year-old little boy I worked with. 

 

I said it before, Hopelessness can be a good indicator of suicidal thinking but something else to look for in children is an increased interest about death and dieing.  It’s normal for a child to ask some questions about death and heaven but notice if the child is talking about death more than usual or is asking more questions about death and heaven or Jesus than usual.    

 

When I worked in a psychiatric hospital, one of the patients was a 5-year-old little boy.  He was in the hospital because he had tried to kill himself.  Beforehand he had asked his mom a lot of questions about death. 

 

A relative had died and the boy heard everyone say he was in a better place.   The boy wanted to know where that place was.  His mom told him about heaven and Jesus.  He was too young to really understand what death means but he knew if he died no one could hurt him again.  He knew he’d be safe in heaven and safe with Jesus because his mom had told him he would.  She didn’t realize why he was asking those questions. 

 

The little boy had been in a regular hospital and a male hospital worker had molested him.  When the 5-year-old boy went home, he was afraid the man would come to his house and hurt him again. 

 

The little boy was so afraid that he set his house on fire because he knew it would kill him.  His mom always told him to stay away from matches and lighters because they would cause a fire and he’d get killed.  He wanted to die so he could go to heaven and no one could ever hurt him again.  He just wanted to be safe.  In this instance his suicide attempt was a very impulsive act.  Children are much more impulsive than adults but some children are naturally more impulsive than others.  

 

When the little boy first came to the psych hospital, he was a terror.  He was very impulsive and hard to control.  He would scream, cry and bang his head against the walls and windows.  He would growl and make his hands like claws.  He would grab people and things out of people’s hands.  He had a very hard time controlling himself. 

 

He was extremely difficult to work with.  There wasn’t a lot I could do.  Then his psychiatrist put him on a medication and within a few days he was a different child.  He was calm, sweet, playful and loving.  I couldn’t believe the difference. 

 

I don’t usually agree with putting children on medication but I realize some children may really need meds.  Those meds helped that little boy.  It was so good to see him doing better.  I was amazed.  Like I said, I don’t usually agree with putting children on meds because I have seen firsthand that some children are over medicated but in some cases it may be necessary.  

Do you think children in this country are overmedicated?

 

Thank you so much for reading my posts.  I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful.          

 

Childhood Suicide Part 1

If you are concerned that your child may be suicidal take him or her to a hospital so they can be assessed immediately.  Childhood suicide is difficult to talk about because it is a painful subject but also because there are people who think it doesn’t exist. 

Some people think children aren’t old enough to understand death and what it means.  I disagree.  I was 8 years old the first time I tried to kill myself.  I knew enough about death to understand it was the only way to stop my pain. 

Some people also think if a child tries to kill himself, he is doing it for attention.  That’s not accurate.  Research has shown children kill themselves and try to kill themselves for the same reasons adults do.  They can no longer stand the pain and suffering of their depression.  They want to get out of a terrible situation and they see no other way out and because they are hopeless. 

Hopelessness can be a good indicator that a child or anyone may be at least thinking about suicide. 

The thing about childhood suicide attempts is that what a child thinks will kill them may not match the reality of what can actually kill them.  My first suicide attempt is an example of that.

When I was 8 years old I was raped by a 15-year-old cousin.  I was already suffering from depression but the rape pushed me over the edge.  The next day I went to my neighbor’s house and lay across the middle of their driveway. 

I wasn’t allowed on the driveway.  My mom kept telling me every day to stay away from the driveway because I’d get run over and die.  I wanted to die.  It was the only way to stop the pain.  I couldn’t stand it anymore.  Pain was all I had left.  I felt like all the good in me had gone and would never come back.  I couldn’t stand myself.  I couldn’t stand my suffering.  I wanted to stop feeling anything.        

I wanted a car to run over me so I would die then I wouldn’t have to think about what my abusers and my rapist had done to me, I wouldn’t have to be afraid they’d do it again and I wouldn’t have to feel the guilt and shame because it was my fault but my plan didn’t work.  I didn’t know how to make it work.

I went back inside my house and thought about drinking some bleach but I couldn’t reach it.  Then I looked under the kitchen sink.  I knew vinegar wouldn’t kill me.  Mom walked in on me as I was looking for a knife.  She asked me what I was doing.  I told her I was getting a knife for a peanut butter sandwich.  Mom stayed in the kitchen, cooking.  I walked past her.  She asked about my sandwich.  I told her I changed my mind. 

Then I went to my room and cried.  That was the first time I wanted to die in order to stop the pain but it wasn’t the last. 

If you notice or think that a child has symptoms of childhood depression and you notice the child is acting odd or is looking for something they know is dangerous, take action.  Ask them what they are doing.  They may say “Nothing” but keep talking to them and don’t be afraid to ask if they are trying to hurt or kill themselves.

My next post will be about the childhood suicide attempt of a little boy I worked with.      

What a Depressed Child Thinks and Feels Part 2

Childhood depression causes a pain and torment that is hard to explain.  It can shatter a child's resolve and leave her hopeless and afraid of her terrible thoughts and the feelings those thoughts bring.  I will share the terrible thoughts and feelings of my childhood that made me pray for death. 

As a depressed child gets older what they think and feel can change and evolve.  In my last post I said that my automatic negative thoughts changed some as I got older.  What I thought when I was 5 or 8 was different than what I thought at 10 or 12 or 15.  I was depressed for a really long time. 

 

When I got a little older my thoughts sent me into a hell of misery and hate.  It was a hell I couldn’t escape.  Like many depressed children I was constantly thinking, “I’m ugly, weak and pathetic. There is nothing good about me. There will never be anything good about me. The world is cold and unfeeling. The world hates me and I hate myself for being me. I will be old and alone for the rest of my life. I am nothing”.  I truly thought I was nothing.

 

I felt the same as many depressed children; like I didn’t matter, my life didn’t matter, nothing mattered.  I wished I had never been born and there were a few times when I tried to correct the mistake of my birth but I’ll talk more about childhood suicide next time.    

 

Often times people including children with depression say, “I feel empty”, but that’s not accurate.  When you’re depressed you want to feel empty but you can’t.  You are so full of negative emotions all you do is feel.  The problem is you can’t stop feeling; feeling the sadness of despair and hopelessness, the pain of loneliness and shame, the desperation of fear and anxiety, and the anger of hurt and guilt.  Children often feel guilt and shame, especially if they have been abused or raped like I was.  Those feelings never leave you and they are hard to control.    

 

When you are a depressed child you are overflowing with emotions you can’t control.  You’re not empty, you’re never empty, you just can’t see yourself and the world as it really is.  I saw an ugly world so full of hurt I couldn’t see anything else.  The ugliness of my world made me feel like I had no value, no purpose, no meaning.  There was no reason for my life, no reason for me.  Many children who suffer from depression feel the same way.    

 

Like them, I wanted my life to matter.  I wanted a reason to live.  I wanted to know happiness.  I wanted so many things but I was too young to understand what was wrong with me.  I understand now but it took me a long time.  It took a lot of therapy, 4 years of undergraduate psychology courses and 2 years of graduate clinical psychology courses. 

 

Now I hope to help others learn about childhood depression so they can finally see the children who are lost in the darkness of despair.  I want those children to get the help they so desperately need and to help them find the light that is hiding deep within them, the light all children have, the happiness and hope all children deserve.       

 

How can a parent help their child understand that it's OK to feel bad or sad? 

I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful.  My next few posts will be some of the most difficult posts.  They’ll be about examples of childhood suicide attempts.  Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. 

 

What a Depressed Child Thinks and Feels Part 1

Depressed children think and feel differently than children who aren’t depressed.  Their pain affects how they see themselves and the world.  The darkness they carry eats away at their insides until there is little goodness left.  Their terrible thoughts and feelings run circles in their mind.  Depression is a heavy load to carry on the tiny shoulders of child who doesn’t belong.   

 

Like I said, how a depressed child thinks is very different than how a non-depressed child thinks.  The depressed brain tends to think in 3 ways.  It thinks everything is negative or bad, there is nothing it can do to make things better and nothing will ever change.  Life will always be bad. 

 

The depressed brain is full of automatic negative thoughts.  When a depressed child thinks about something they automatically think negatively about it.  No matter what it is, the first thing that pops into a depressed child’s brain is negative.  It’s just easier for a depressed brain to think about and remember anything bad or negative but I’ll talk more about the brains of depressed children in future posts.  These terrible thoughts of childhood depression can influence us every day.   

 

Thoughts, feeling and behaviors are all connected.  Our automatic negative thoughts effect how we feel and what we do.  An example could be a child thinks he is stupid.  This thought makes him feel bad and makes him think there is nothing he can do to be smarter or get better grades so he may not study.  Then when he makes a bad grade he uses that as evidence that he really is stupid.  We all know that if a child doesn’t study he will make a bad grade but the depressed brain doesn’t see that.  It only sees pain.       

 

The depressed child will constantly think about one bad experience and tell themselves everything else will turn out just as bad.  The depressed child sees a positive experience as a fluke and thinks nothing positive will ever happen again.  When the depressed child thinks about the future, he predicts bad things will happen.   

 

The depressed child looks at a bad experience and blows it out of proportion, like thinking one rejection is the end of the world.  One rejection means rejection for the rest of their lives.  The depressed child thinks in should terms, “I should do this or I should be that. Why can’t I be like everyone else?” 

 

That is one of the most painful things about childhood depression; seeing other children laughing, playing sports, making friends so easily.  Depressed children desperately want to be normal.  They know there is something wrong, something different about them but they don’t understand what it is.     

 

I know from experience the turmoil of childhood depression.  My suffering began when I was 5 but what I thought and how I felt changed as I got older. 

 

At first I thought everything was my fault, I was bad and I was being punished.  I was actually a very good child but I couldn’t see that.  As I got older my thoughts became even more negative and damaging.  I still thought the same as when I was 5 but I also thought, “I’m stupid. I’m ugly. No one cares about me. No one will ever care about me. No one will ever like me”.  These thoughts caused a sorrow that consumed me. 

How can a parent help give their child hope? 

My thoughts continued to get worse the older I got but I will talk a little more about that in my next post.  I just ask anyone who comments be respectful of others.  Thank you so much.

Shyness and Childhood Depression and Anxiety Part 2

This post will be a continuation of my post on shyness and depression and anxiety.  Some of my information has been taken from the American Psychological Association (2009).  The rest of my information comes from my education and my own experiences. 

 

I said it before, shyness is not a mental illness but it may be a symptom of an underlying anxiety issue, an underlying fearfulness or depression. 

 

 I’m asking everyone to please notice shy, quiet children.  Notice children who have trouble making friends, children who sit alone, children who cry easily, who are overly sensitive.  Ask them if they are OK.  They may say they are fine but keep an eye on them.  Don’t let these children suffer in silence. 

 

Everyone focuses so much on children with behavioral problems they overlook the pain of the shy children who are considered good.  Good children can hurt too.  Sometimes they hurt the most.  Many people say that shyness is just part of the child’s personality but they don’t ask why is it part of their personality. 

 

Personality is an interaction between biology and environment.  Yes, some children are born a little more emotionally reactive, a little more anxious or fearful and yes some environments can contribute to shyness but shy children can overcome their shyness with a little help.  

Therapists can help children learn coping skills and teach them and their parents how to improve confidence and social skills.  Just remember, therapy is good.  It’s not bad and it can help a child a great deal. 

 

If you have or know a shy child take notice.  Ask them some questions about what they think and how they feel.  Notice their social interactions; ask teachers about their social interactions during class, recess, lunch and gym.  If you have concerns take your child to a therapist or other professional.  Tell them your concerns and let them assess your child.  I’ll say it again.  Don’t let a child suffer in silence.  Help them find the goodness inside themselves and hope for the future.

 

I know from experience how much pain a shy child can have.  It’s agony.  The pain doesn’t necessarily come from being shy but shy children tend to have a harder time dealing with the traumas and experiences that often contribute to depression.  Shy children tend to be more emotional, tend to feel emotions more deeply and may have a harder time dealing with those emotions. 

 

I’m going to vent a little bit here.  People are so worried about not wanting to label a child as mentally ill that they overlook children or even ignore children who need help or children who could benefit from therapy. 

 

Just because a child is shy and has some anxiety issues or depression and is getting help from a therapist doesn’t mean the child is crazy but there are people in our society who will label them that way and stigmatize anyone who sees a therapist or psychiatrist.  That, unfortunately, is the reality of our world and the ignorance of many people.  Stop looking at the labels our culture, our society puts on people and just think about helping the children who need it.  Labels don’t matter to a child who is suffering.  They just want to stop feeling pain.    

 

Do you think shyness should be labeled as a disorder?   I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful to everyone.  My next few posts will be about what a child suffering from depression can think and feel.  Thank you so much.   

 

Shyness and Childhood Depression and Anxiety Part 1

In this post I’d like to talk about shyness and childhood depression and anxiety.  Some of my information has been taken from the American Psychological Association (2009).  The rest of my information comes from my education in clinical psychology and my own experiences. 

 

Shyness is not a mental illness.  It’s not a psychiatric disorder but many of the characteristics of shyness can be the same symptoms used to diagnose depression or an anxiety disorder. 

 

Children who are shy may avoid social situations and social interactions.  They may not have many friends because they are anxious around new people or people they don’t know well.  They may have very negative thoughts and feelings about themselves, the world and the future.  Many shy children have a very hard time standing up for themselves.  They can be withdrawn, overly sensitive and overly emotional.  These issues are very similar to the symptoms of childhood depression and may at least in part be caused by depression.  

 

Not all shy children have depression but many shy children can have an underlying anxiety issue or fearfulness that may need to be addressed.  There are different levels of shyness, different levels of avoidance and different levels of anxiety and depression.  The symptoms could be mild, moderate or severe depending on how many symptoms the child has, how often they happen and how much they affect a child’s ability to function.

 

Like I said not all shy children suffer from depression but those that do are often overlooked or even ignored because they have a tendency to internalize their pain.  Internalizing just means they turn all their pain and negative thoughts inward at themselves.  Many shy children suffer in silence.  I was a very shy, quiet, depressed and anxious child.  I internalized my pain.  I know what it’s like to suffer in silence.

 

I was so shy and afraid, I had a very hard time interacting with others I didn’t know well.  I hated going to crowded places.  I would always hide behind my momma’s leg and hold onto her for dear life.  I had difficulty making friends at school.  I often thought, “Nobody likes me. Nobody wants to play with me. I’ll never have friends. What’s wrong with me?”, as I sat alone at recess and cried. 

 

At first my teachers ignored my tears but I guess I cried too often.  Finally, one of my teachers yelled at me.  She told me to stop crying so much.  Then she called me a cry baby.  She said it in front of the entire class.  I was so embarrassed, humiliated and ashamed.  After that I tried not to cry at school but at times I couldn’t help it so I hid my eyes away from the teachers, away from the other children.  Embarrassing and humiliating a child for crying, only makes the child’s pain worse. 

 

My teacher made me feel weak and like I was a bad person.  I wasn’t a bad child.  I always did what I was told.  I never got into trouble.  I was always a very good child but I didn’t see the real world.  Pain, loneliness, guilt and shame were my reality and I don’t want them to be another child’s reality.  As a side note, please don’t punish a child for crying or being emotional.  Don’t make a child feel bad for who they are. 

Do you think a child should be sent to a therapist because of shyness?

 

I’ll end here for now.  My next post will be about shyness as well.  I hope these posts are helping people understand the struggles some children go through.  I ask that anyone who would like to comment be respectful of others.  Thank you so much. 

 

Symptoms of Childhood Depression Part 4

 This post will be my last post, for now, on possible symptoms of childhood depression.  My next posts will be about shyness and childhood depression.  As I’ve said before, my information is coming from my education, my own experiences suffering with childhood depression and my experiences working with the mentally ill. 

 

If a caregiver has any concerns that a child is suffering from depression, have the child assessed by a mental health professional.  If you notice that a child has 3 or more of these symptoms for most of the day, nearly every day for more than 2 weeks it could be a concern. 

 

Childhood depression is very difficult to go through.  It truly is living in Hell.  A depressed child may think they are not good enough or that they are bad even if they never get into trouble.  They may say they are stupid or nobody likes them.  They may think everything is their fault.  Everything they think about themselves is very negative.     

 

Depressed children may constantly think about past failure or rejection.  They may constantly think about future failure or rejection.  They may think that they’ll never be good at anything, like there is no hope for them.  Hopelessness is the worst thing about childhood depression.  Children are supposed to feel like they can accomplish anything but depressed children may not be able to see any goodness or light in their future.      

 

A depressed child may also have trouble remembering things.  They may have trouble learning something new.  As I said in a previous post, their brain may have trouble focusing, concentrating and understanding.  They may be easily distracted.  Their grades may drop.  They may have trouble at school.  They may have behavior problems or they may not participate in class or during out of class activities.  They may have trouble or be afraid of making decisions or answering questions because of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. 

 

I’d like to add a note here.  If your child does well in school and makes good grades it doesn’t mean she’s not depressed.  I did really well in school, I made good grades, I never got into any kind of trouble but I suffered from depression my entire childhood.      

 

This will be the last symptom of childhood depression that I will talk about for now.  It is also the worst symptom.  A child who is depressed may think a lot about death or suicide.  They may try to kill themselves.  A depressed child may talk a lot about death or ask a lot of questions about death like, “Does it hurt?”  The child may ask a lot of questions about heaven, God and Jesus.  They may seem preoccupied with dying.  

 

No one wants to think a child is in so much pain that they will kill themselves but I know from my own experiences some depressed children see death as a way out of their unbearable pain, maybe the only way out.  I tried to kill myself when I was 8 then again when I was 9 but nobody ever knew.  I hid it because I didn’t want to be stopped but I will talk more about childhood suicide attempts in future posts.    

 

I really hope these posts about symptoms of childhood depression have been helpful.  My next few posts will be about shyness and childhood depression and anxiety.  I’d appreciate any comments.  I’m also interested in hearing about other people’s experiences with childhood depression and their symptoms.  I just ask that everyone be respectful of others.  Thank you so much.