Childhood Depression and the Brain: Neurotransmitters

I’d like to talk about how the brains of children who suffer from depression are different.  First I’ll talk about neurons and neurotransmitters.  It may sound complicated but it’s not.  I’m going to be as basic as I can be because I understand most people haven’t taken a neuroscience class.         

The brain is full of neurons.  They are nerve cells that communicate with each other using something called neurotransmitters.  Neurotransmitters are the chemical messages sent to all the different parts of the brain.  They help the brain function and affect how we feel.  The neurotransmitters associated the most with mood, emotions and depression are serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine.    

An electrical surge is sent to a neuron and that surge tells the neuron to release neurotransmitters.  Neurons are very close to each other in the brain but they do not touch.  There is a gap between neurons.  This gap is called the synapse. 

When a neurotransmitter like serotonin is released into the synapse.  It swims across the synapse and binds with the receptor sites on the next neuron.  The receptor sites are like locked doors and each door has keyholes.  Neurotransmitters are the keys. 

Certain keys only fit certain locks.  The seratonin keys only fit the seratonin locks.  The seratonin keys tell the neurons they bind with to release an electrical surge to tell other neurons to release neurotransmitters and it keeps doing this throughout the brain with seratonin and all the other neurotransmitters.  Once the seratonin keys swim across the synapse, they fit into the seratonin locks, then the neuron that released the seratonin sucks up any extra remaining seratonin left in the synapse. 

The theory is, in depressed people the seratonin keys don’t swim fast enough to reach the locks or receptor sites in the next neuron.  The seratonin keys don’t have enough time to reach the seratonin locks before they get sucked back up into the neuron that released them.  What antidepressants called SSRIs do is stop the re-uptake or the sucking-up action of the seratonin left in the synapse.

Since the sucking-up action or re-uptake is stopped, the serotonin keys have enough time to swim across the synapse and reach and bind to the seratonin locks on the next neuron.  This helps the person feel less depressed and more normal.  This is a very simplistic explanation but I’m going to be talking about neurotransmitters in my next few posts as I write about different parts of the brain that affect depression or are affected by depression.

I also wanted to briefly discuss something called the MTHFR genetic mutation.  Most every woman has heard of folic acid also known as folate.  It’s vitamin B12.  The brain needs vitamin B12 in order to make serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine but B12 isn’t able to cross something called the blood brain barrier.  The brain is protected by this barrier.  It keeps out bad chemicals that can hurt the brain but it can also keep out good chemicals that the brain needs. 

In order for B12 also known as folate to cross the blood brain barrier the body has to transform it into methyl folate.  In normal people the methyl folate crosses the blood brain barrier and the brain uses it to help produce neurotransmitters but some people like me have the MTHFR genetic mutation.  The mutation causes the body to have a hard time transforming folate into methyl folate.  Therefor the brain has a harder time producing neurotransmitters. 

A person who has this mutation can suffer from depression because the brain doesn’t have enough methyl folate to make a normal amount of neurotransmitters.  A prescription medical food called L-methyl folate can help people with this genetic mutation produce a more normal amount of neurotransmitters and it can help some people who suffer from depression.  It has actually helped me a lot.  Thanks for your time.                   

Childhood Depression and Living with a Mentally Ill Parent

This post is about what it’s like for a child who lives with a mentally ill parent and how that stress can affect childhood depression.  Again I’ll use myself as an example. 

The stress and strain of living with a mentally ill parent is often too much for a child to handle especially if the child is the mentally ill parent’s main support and care taker.  The child may have to take on many adult responsibilities.  A child may have to help a parent shop, make decisions, pay bills, bathe, make sure they are taking their meds and help the parent tell the doctors how they are doing and what problems the parent is having. 

When a parent has to lean on their child so much it can cause a child to be angry and resentful toward their parent especially if the parent is unable to behave like a normal adult.  That anger and resentment often leads to more guilt and more shame.  Guilt and shame are often pervasive in childhood depression.  My mom’s mental illness caused my own childhood depression to increase exponentially.   

A child who has to take care of a mentally ill parent may also have more issues with separation anxiety.  A child may be afraid to leave their parent home alone, always wondering, “What is she doing? Is she OK? Is she trying to cook by herself? I hope she doesn’t cause a fire? Would she know what to do if something bad happens?”  These thoughts can run through a child’s mind constantly.  I was always afraid of what might happen to my mom if I wasn’t with her.  Her mental illness caused a terrible strain on me.          

I remember being glad when my mom came home from a psych hospital but I had no idea how her personality had changed.  She became childish and frustrating.  It was like our roles had reversed.  Mom became selfish at times.  She could be unreasonable.  I sometimes had to tell her, no she could not do something or she could not have something she didn’t need and we couldn’t afford.  At times my mom was like a spoiled child, wanting her way.  It was like she didn’t know how an adult was supposed to act.

I didn’t know how to deal with it all.  I kept all my pain inside.  I was so angry, frustrated, and embarrassed by mom’s behavior.  I missed the way things had been before she got sick, when she was a normal mom.  I was so ashamed of myself.  My anger, frustration and pain were wearing me down.  I couldn’t sleep.  I couldn’t eat and I cried every night.  At times it was unbearable. 

Life is very lonely and difficult for a child who has to take care of a mentally ill parent.  I loved my mom with all my heart but it was such a struggle trying to take care of her.  Many children have felt the same kind of inner struggle that I did, that combination of love and anger and resentment is overwhelming for a child. 

If you know a child who has a mentally ill parent, do what you can to get the child some help.  It’s a good idea for anyone who lives with a mentally ill person to have therapy themselves so they can learn how to deal with the stress in their lives but children need the help of a therapist even more so.  Children need someone to help them cope with all of their confusing, conflicting emotions and to help them come to terms with and accept a parent’s mental illness.  Acceptance helps us look past the anger and see the love.       

Childhood Depression and a Mentally Ill Parent part 2

This post is a continuation of my posts about how having a mentally ill parent can affect a child.  Again I’ll use myself as an example.  This post is about how a child feels when they see their parent act irrationally and erratic for the first time, when a child actually sees their parent’s mental illness.   

It’s very scary for a child the first time they see a parent act irrational, unsound, even crazy; saying things that don’t make sense, not knowing where they are or not remembering who people are.  It’s like the child is seeing a shell of the person they thought they knew.  Sometimes that shell seems empty, like no one’s there but sometimes the shell is full of thoughts that aren’t real, that don’t make any sense.  A child can become afraid of a parent who is unstable.  That fear can be very confusing for a child.       

The first time I saw my mom’s mental illness, she was in a psych hospital.  She looked up at me.  Her eyes were big and glassy.  She stared right through me.  I wasn’t sure if she was even seeing me.  I wanted to cry and run away.  I wanted to hide my eyes and my heart from what I was seeing; from what was happening; from the pain of losing the person I loved most.

   

My mom didn’t know who I was.  It was very hard to see her like that.  I didn’t understand.  I didn’t know what was happening.  I didn’t know what to think.  I wanted things to be back to normal.  I wanted mom home.  I wanted her to know who I was.  I was so afraid; afraid of her, afraid she’d never get better, afraid she’d never be “normal” again, afraid of losing the most important person in my life. 

I had a very hard time accepting everything.  I felt lost, angry, confused and lonely.  I loved mom but was embarrassed she was in a psychiatric hospital.  I was afraid the kids at school would find out.  I felt so guilty and ashamed that I was embarrassed of her.  I was angry at her for being sick and for being weak.  The stigma of mental illness affects children.  Society said my mom was weak, that I was weak and I believed them. 

I was confused because I didn’t know what was wrong with mom or why she was sick.  I felt lonely because I had no one to talk too.  I was trying to be strong and brave.  I was holding all my emotions inside, pushing them down deeper and deeper, trying to hide them from the world and myself but that was a huge mistake. 

Children don’t understand that holding all their emotions inside only makes their pain worse.  They don’t have the coping skills to deal with such a huge change in their parent or such a huge change in their life.  When a parent is mentally ill, a child needs someone they can talk to, confide in; someone to tell them they aren’t alone and that it’s OK to be afraid sometimes, it’s OK to be angry that someone they love is sick, that it’s normal for a child to be embarrassed by a parent who is acting irrational and out of their head.  A child also needs someone who can explain to them that mental illness is not their fault and that it’s not their parent’s fault but that it’s a physical illness that affects the mind and not a weakness of character.

It’s very difficult for a child to see a mentally ill parent for the first time but living with them when they get home is also very stressful.  I’ll talk about that next time.                 

Childhood Depression and a Mentally Ill Parent

Childhood depression is caused by many factors like trauma, biology and environment.  When a child struggles with all three of these factors she can’t help but have issues.  One environmental factor that can cause a great deal of stress and strain for a child is living with a mentally ill parent.  The best way I can explain what it’s like for a child who lives with a mentally ill parent is to use myself as an example. 

When a child first learns a parent has a mental illness they have a hard time understanding what that means.  A child, especially a young child, doesn’t know what a mental illness is or how it affects people.  A child of a mentally ill parent is often confused and afraid because they don’t know what is happening.

The day I learned about mental illness was the day my life was shattered into a million pieces.  I remember it all so clearly, like it happened yesterday.

I came home from school one cool, spring day.  I got off the school bus then walked inside our house and saw my grandmother sitting at the kitchen table talking to my aunt.  I looked all around for my mom to tell her I was home but I couldn’t find her anywhere.  I asked my grandmother, “Where’s mom?”  That’s when my life fell apart.

My grandmother told me my mom was in a psych hospital.  Then she said my mom was crazy and that she needed to shape up.  My grandmother didn’t care that my world had just shattered or how her words where making me feel.  She was just mad that my dad had to come home from work to take mom to the hospital.  

I didn’t understand what was happening.  It was very difficult to hear my grandmother say such mean things about my mom.  Unfortunately, many people feel that way about the mentally ill.  Even now some people can be very cruel and mean to people with a mental illness.  They don’t understand.  They don’t know what they are talking about.  The problem is they cause people with a mental illness pain but they also cause pain for the families of the mentally ill. 

The pain of having a parent with a mental illness can be too much for a child to take.  I was scared that my mom was gone.  I was scared because I didn’t know what was wrong with her and I was scared because my grandmother was saying my mom was crazy.  I didn’t know what that meant.  I didn’t understand what was happening or why it was happening. 

When my dad came home I asked him what was going on.  He explained that my mom had mental problems.  I didn’t understand what that meant.  He said she had been put on medication to keep her normal but she stopped taking her medicine because we couldn’t afford them.  He said mom was in a mental hospital and that we’d go see her on Saturday. 

I was so scared because I didn’t know what to expect.  I was already depressed and anxious but not having mom home made me worse.  I cried every night as I laid in bed.  I couldn’t sleep.  I couldn’t eat.  My stomach was always in knots and I was afraid.

Children don’t understand why a parent is mentally ill and that causes them a lot of fear and confusion.  Learning a parent is mentally ill is difficult for a child but seeing them when they are not thinking straight is even more stressful.  I’ll talk more about that in my next post.              

Childhood Depression and Children's Emotions

Childhood depression can be hard to identify especially in shy, quiet children because children don’t really understand their emotions.  Another complication is that some people think children don’t experience all the same emotions that adults have. 

Just because a child can’t identify and express their emotions doesn’t mean they don’t have them.  A child’s emotional world is vivid and colorful; full of love, joy, hope, happiness and excitement but also sadness, anger, fear, jealousy, guilt and shame. 

 

Children feel these emotions but may not understand them.  They often can’t pinpoint and say this is how I feel.  Children need a parent, counselor or a psychology minded teacher to help them understand emotions.  A parent and others can help children learn and name their emotions and the emotions of others. 

There are posters and books that can help children with their emotions.  There is a ‘Today I Feel’ poster, a ‘How are You Feeling Today’ poster, a ‘Dealing with Feelings’ poster, a ‘Laminated Blue Feelings’ poster and an ‘Emotions Chart’ poster.  It’s important for parents and teachers to look at different poster so they can find the one that they think will help their children the best. 

An adult can pick out an emotion on the poster and describe that emotion, telling the child things like if they feel this emotion they may not want to play or run around or they may not want to eat or sleep.  Adults can also tell children about the physical feelings associated with that emotion like a hot face or upset tummy.  Then the adult can give age appropriate examples of situations that can make a child feel that way. 

There are also books that help children learn, understand and Identify emotions like; ‘In My Heart: A Book of Feelings’ for 2-4 year olds, ‘Don’t Let The Pidgeon Drive The Bus’ for 2-6 year olds, ‘Glad Monster, Sad Monster’ for 3-6 year olds, ‘What Are You Feeling Dragon?’ for 3-6 year olds, ‘Inside Out Box of Mixed Emotions’ for 3-5 year olds, ‘When I Feel Sad (Way I Feel Books)’ up to 8 years old, ‘What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety’ 6-12 year olds, ‘The Emotions Survival Guide/ Inside Out’ for 8-12 year olds and ‘Understanding Myself: A Kid’s Guide to Intense Emotions and Strong Feelings’ for ages 8 and up.  These books are just some examples.  Again; it’s important for parents and teachers to look at different books so they can find the ones they think will help their children the best. 

It’ is important for parents and teachers to understand that each child feels emotions at different intensities.  Some children feel positive emotions more deeply, some feel negative emotions more deeply and some feel all emotions very deeply.

It’s important that children understand their emotions but it’s also important that children understand others feel emotions too.  Nurturing empathy is a very important part of being a parent or teacher.  It’s not hard to do. 

Whenever your child does something to hurt someone or sees someone hurt just ask them how they would feel if someone did that to them or if they were in that situation.  It’s also a good idea to do the same when the child does something positive to a child or sees something positive happen to a child.  That way they can learn to take joy in others happiness as well as understand someone’s pain and sadness.

Just remember children aren’t little adults.  Their emotions are confusing and overwhelming for them sometimes.  They need our help and guidance to learn to deal with and understand their emotions so they can become the people we know they can be.