Childhood Depression and Social Anxiety

Childhood depression and anxiety often go hand in hand.  Shy children who feel the pain of depression are much more likely to have problems with anxiety, especially social anxiety.

 

Many depressed children can have a hard time making friends or having normal friendships because of their social anxiety.  First I want to make clear the difference between social anxiety and autism. 

 

Children with social anxiety have the capacity to interact normally with other children and adults.  They want to interact and have friends but they can’t because they can be so afraid of rejection.  They’re afraid they may say or do something weird or stupid.  They’re afraid they’ll be made fun of.  They’re afraid of embarrassing themselves in some way. 

 

When a child feels this fear and anxiety her heart may race.  Her face can become flushed red and sweaty.  She may tremble.  Her voice may sound shaky and nervous.  These physical symptoms of anxiety can cause even more embarrassment which can cause more anxiety to the point where the child may have trouble breathing or moving.  It’s the fear response gone haywire. 

 

Most people have heard of the fight or flight response.  When a person experiences danger they need to prepare to fight that danger or run away but some people, including children with anxiety may be overly sensitive to fear and they may feel threatened in situations that aren’t physically dangerous but seem dangerous emotionally.  The fear of rejection from the world is a powerful and emotionally dangerous fear.   

 

When a child with social anxiety is put in a social situation she may try to hide anywhere she can like behind a parent or in a corner or behind furniture.  She may become so anxious she freezes up and doesn’t know what to do.  She may cry, struggle to get away or have a tantrum. 

 

These children may try to avoid social situations anyway they can, saying they are sick or have to go to the bathroom and because of this, children with social anxiety may have trouble attending school.  I know I missed more days than the average child because of my anxiety. 

 

A child may be anxious in certain social situations like public speaking or they may be anxious in most all social situations.  Social anxiety can cause a lot of problems with a child’s age appropriate social development.  They may seem younger or more immature than other children their age.  Anxiety often contributes to depression in children and vice versa.  Many times depression and anxiety are co-occurring and both may be diagnosed.    

 

I have said before that I began suffering from depression when I was 5 years old but I also suffered from anxiety.  When I was a child I was painfully shy.  I didn’t want to talk too or interact with people I didn’t know well.  I was afraid people would laugh at me.  I had very low self-esteem and no self-confidence.  I thought I was weird and ugly.  I thought no one could really like me because I was too different. 

 

Symptoms of depression like low self-esteem and low self-confidence can cause a lot of fear about how the child thinks the world sees her.  It’s a powerful fear of a world where she thinks she doesn’t belong.  I know from experience it’s a very painful fear and anxiety no child should have to suffer but shy, depressed children do suffer.  With help they can overcome their pain.  They just need to be identified so they can get help.

 

Do you think schools should assess children for anxiety?  I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful.  My next post will be about separation anxiety.