Neglectful parenting can be caused by many issues. The parent may have a severe psychiatric disorder, a severe personality
disorder, they may struggle with addiction or they may not know how to parent because they were neglected as
children. They may not know how a
loving, caring, supportive parent is supposed to act or some may not care.
Neglectful parents can be neglectful in different ways. Some may not
provide for their child’s basic needs. Their children may not have enough to eat and they may not know how to wash, bathe or clean
themselves. Very young children who are
neglected may not even be potty trained by the time they start school. The child’s physical needs are neglected but their emotional needs are as well and that can be even worse.
Children need
to be loved. They need to know they are loved. They need a lot of positive interactions
with adults so they can learn about
and develop proper attachments. Without
these very early positive attachments a child may never
be able to feel close to anyone or may never
feel positive about anyone. They may
learn at a very early age that they
are on their own.
Neglectful parents can be emotionally distant and show little if any warmth, love or affection. Neglected
children may not care about others because they feel no
one cares about them. Neglected children often feel angry, unhappy and unloved. They may not even understand what love
is.
Neglected children often have no coping skills or emotion regulation
skills. They may not know how to deal
with or control all their negative emotions. They can become
overwhelmed by their emotions and act
out by yelling, screaming, fighting or arguing.
These children usually have terrible social skills because they don’t know how to act or interact with others. They
may not know how to share, how to be
nice or how to make friends in an appropriate way. They may feel that no one likes them or wants to be friends. They may not understand you have to be friendly in order to make friends. Many don’t know how to be friendly.
These children can learn that it’s better, safer and easier to be alone.
If you’re alone no one can hurt you and these children are often very
emotionally hurt. Neglected children
often feel fear, anxiety, anger and terrible sadness because they have so little support in their lives.
Neglectful parents tend to have few rules, no expectations
and place few demands on their children.
Many of the children have to raise
themselves. Neglected children can have a hard time
understanding right from wrong or why something is wrong. They may not understand how to behave or what is acceptable behavior.
These children often have many behavior problems, low self-esteem and no self-confidence. Many have no one
in their lives to tell them they are good and smart or that they can achieve
anything. Many of these children do poorly in school. They may have developmental delays or cognitive deficits. They may not be at the same grade level as
the other children their age. They can
be several grades behind. Malnutrition and a lack of intellectual
stimulation and emotional interactions can cause a delay in brain development. They usually have no one to read to them or
teach them colors, their alphabet or how to count. A child can’t learn without someone to teach
them.
These children, like their parents, often lack empathy and remorse. They can be very selfish, self-centered and self-involved, just like
their parents. These children need a lot
of help and many will continue to need help for the rest of their lives. They
tend to be emotionally unstable, angry and very depressed. With help they can improve but they need a lot of understanding and support
to help give them hope for the future.
Therapists and teachers are very important to these children
because they can be the only ones who will help them. If you know or work with a difficult child
just remember it’s not entirely their fault.
It takes a lot of neglect and poor parenting to cause a child to be a
behavior problem. Most of these children
have an issue or issues with dysthymia
and depression. They are more likely to externalize their depression
because they can’t control themselves, their anger
or their pain. They are frustrating to work with but who can
turn their back on a child in need and these children are in desperate need.
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