Childhood depression is finally emerging from the shadows. More research is being done now than at any other time. People are realizing that children can hurt and suffer too. Many children are benefitting from therapy everyday but other children are still suffering.
You may ask, what does childhood depression look like or how can you tell a child is depressed. Childhood depression can look different with each child because each child is different. You may see depression in some children but not in others because some children can become very good at hiding their pain. You may not be able to tell a child is depressed just by looking at them. A child’s pain can come out in many different ways.
Anyone who has worked in community mental health or a psychiatric hospital will notice that many children receiving therapy have behavioral problems. Their depression can come out as anger, aggression, irritability, yelling, talking back, throwing things, being mean or hurting others. I’ve said it before, these children often get help right away.
The prognosis of depressed children with behavioral problems can depend on how involved their parents are, family stressors and even socio-economic status. Children who live below the poverty line may have a harder time because of the stress of poverty.
Therapists in community mental health have started going to schools to provide therapy for children who can’t get to sessions any other way. I have worked with both children and adolescents at their schools. Children with behavior problems are identified quickly but that’s one of the problems. Everyone focuses so much on children with behavior problems that they overlook the children who are good.
The pain of good children is often hidden because they are good. They do well in school. They make good grades and they never get into trouble. They often sit with their heads down, doing everything thing they are supposed to. If they show negative emotions, they are often ignored or even punished. They learn that showing negative emotions is bad. The often learn that crying or being sad is frowned upon so they hide their pain. They learn to smile when they’re not happy and to hold their tears till they are alone.
Good children tend to be more sensitive and they feel emotions more deeply but they may not know how to deal with or cope with their sensitivity and deep emotions so they turn their pain inwards, toward themselves; blaming and internalizing all the sadness, fear, guilt, anger and shame.
Sometimes adults may get a glimpse of the pain a good child feels. The child may look sad, lonely or tearful but a child who hides their pain can come up with an excuse. It can be very hard identifying good children who suffer from depression. Sometimes they are not identified till it’s almost too late. That’s why it’s a good idea to have a child assessed for depression once a year.
Children get a physical exam once a year so why not a psychological exam once a year? A yearly assessment can identify children who need help. Once a counselor or therapist breaks through the façade of a good, depressed child their emotions can flow like a raging flood. The feeling a child gets when someone finally sees their pain is hard to describe. Just knowing someone sees their pain is enough to give a child hope.
Again I’ll ask, what does childhood depression look like. The truest answer is that it depends on the child and some depressed children are hard to identify but a yearly assessment can help. Thanks so much for reading.
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