Childhood Depression and Overprotective Parenting

This brief, quick post will start my posts on how a child’s environment can affect childhood depression.  A child’s environment; especially the relationship, attachment and experiences a child has with their parent or primary caregiver can affect how a child sees themselves, other people and the world.

Many parents try but they can’t protect their children from life.  Life happens and an overprotective environment can cause more stress than it prevents.  Overprotective parents love and nurture their children but those parents may let their own fear take over.

Children need guidance to help them learn how to deal with stress, to grow and mature but if that guidance makes them feel like they can’t do anything on their own or help them have a certain level of independence then that guidance can contribute to issues like depression and anxiety.

Some parents have a hard time letting go.  They don’t feel comfortable letting their children explore the world or make mistakes but that’s a problem because children learn from their experiences outside the home and they learn from their failures and mistakes. 

Some overprotective parents are so afraid their child will suffer if they fail or make mistakes that they won’t let the child try anything new.  If a child isn’t allowed to play sports or to go to activities where they can learn social skills, the child can become socially awkward. They also won’t get to experience what it’s like to be on a team, what it’s like to loose and how to deal with loss but most of all they won’t learn how to deal with the stress that new experiences can bring.

Parents don’t want to see kids struggle but it’s not healthy for parents to shelter and do things for their children.  Parents need to let children learn how to handle some situations on their own.  If a parent always shelters and helps a child, the child learns to always look for help instead of trying to figure things out for themselves. 

Overprotective parents can make a child feel afraid of the world and inadequate, like their parents don’t trust them and maybe they shouldn’t trust themselves, like they’re not able to do a good enough job on their own and that they’ll always need help and like they can’t do anything without their parents.  An overprotected child is often left with low self-esteem and no self-confidence. 

We all gain confidence and self-esteem by overcoming challenges on our own.  Without those challenges a child has no opportunity to learn, mature and grow.  The child may become afraid of new things, afraid of failure, afraid he can’t succeed without help and afraid to experience life.  A life of fear is not much of a life.  It can be hard for an overprotected child to learn how to deal with their fear and emotions. 

Low self-esteem, no self-confidence and fear can contribute to depression and anxiety.  Not every child with overprotective parents will have problems but many do.  Overprotective parenting may be one factor of many that can lead to depression but understanding a child’s environment and experiences can help therapist understand the child and her issues better. 

Many overprotected children internalize their pain.  They turn everything inward onto themselves.  They may be more likely to hide their pain and that’s important for a therapist to know but overprotective parenting isn’t the only type of parenting that can cause issues.  I’ll talk about overly lenient and permissive parenting next time.