Childhood Depression and Separation Anxiety

I said it before, childhood depression and anxiety often go hand in hand.  Shy children are more likely to turn their depression inward toward themselves creating a fear that can be hard for the child or anyone to understand.  Because of their fear shy children tend to be more attached to their primary caregiver and can experience separation anxiety. 

The biggest fear a child with separation anxiety has is of losing their caregiver and being alone.  At home with their caregiver is the place they feel safest and most secure. 

There are different levels of fear and anxiety; mild, moderate and severe but it’s important to understand that these children feel a terrible dread when they are away from their caregiver.  The child is afraid something bad will happen to their caregiver or something bad might happen to them but from my experience the fear seems to be more about losing the person they love most. 

When a child with separation anxiety is away from their caregiver they can have physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches and nausea to the point of throwing up.  They may need to stay in touch with their caregiver constantly phoning or texting; asking, “Where are you? What are you doing? Are you OK? Can I come home?” 

A child with separation anxiety may not want to go to school or anywhere without their caregiver.  The child may have a hard time concentrating when they are at school because they are focused so much on their fear and worry.  The child may cry because they want to go home and can be very difficult to soothe.  Just remember they are not being difficult on purpose.  They feel an anguish that is hard for them to control.  To them their fear is very real.      

 

When these children are with their caregiver they may cling to their parent’s legs or follow them around constantly.  In more severe cases the child may not want to go to a different room without their caregiver.    

 

Some children with separation anxiety may not even want to go to bed without their parent or caregiver.  When the child does go to bed he may need his caregiver to stay with him till he falls asleep.  Then if the child wakes up in the night he will often try to get into bed with his caregiver.  If the bedroom door is locked the child may sleep outside the caregiver’s door on the floor to try and be close to them. 

 

A child with separation anxiety may have recurrent nightmares of being lost or separated from his caregiver.  The child may dream about their caregiver getting hurt or killed in an accident or disaster.  He may dream about being kidnapped or taken away from home.     

Life is very difficult for an anxious child.  They carry the weight of all their fears on their tiny shoulders and can break from the stress and strain. 

Sometimes the world is a very scary place for children, especially children who have been hurt in some way.  I’m not saying all shy, anxious children have been hurt or abused but many have.  If you have or know a shy, anxious child please take notice.       

Many children, especially shy children, are overlooked and suffer in silence.  My greatest wish is that every child who needs help will be identified so they can get that help.  Thank you so much for reading my posts.  I hope they help.  I welcome any comments.  I just ask that you be respectful.