A quick post on overly permissive
parenting. Some parents
care more about being their child’s friend
than being a parent but that’s a bad idea.
Friends let kids get away with things that can affect a child in negative
ways like allowing children to watch TV, play video games or use the computer
whenever they want for as long as they want instead of doing homework or
studying, causing problems at school.
Children of overly permissive parents are more likely to talk back to their
parents and other adults including teachers.
These children would rather do what
they want and not what they
are supposed to do. This contributes to more problems at school.
Parents who are overly permissive
tend to set few limits and boundaries. Children need limits and boundaries in order
to feel secure and safe and in order for them to learn
what’s OK and not OK. Children need to be
taught right from wrong. Also without limits and boundaries children
can’t learn appropriate social skills like sharing and they may not care what other children want to do or
play.
These children can be very selfish and demanding,
wanting their way all the time. They
have little self-control over
themselves and their emotions. They
usually don’t know how to deal with their emotions when they get upset and they tend to be more emotionally reactive and less able to understand or control their emotions.
Overly permissive parents often place few demands or expectations on their children. Without demands and expectations; a child
can’t learn, grow and mature. They won’t be challenged to do
better at school, at home or in life.
They’ll only do what they need to in order to get by.
These children can’t achieve their true potential. They lack
self-discipline. They tend to do poorly in school and make poor grades.
The problem is that they don’t know how to do well or make good grades or
control themselves because their parents haven’t
taught them how to work hard or how to set and achieve academic or emotional goals.
Overly permissive parents tend to have few rules and the rules
they do have are very inconsistent. This can also cause a lot of problems in
school. Children get into trouble
because they aren’t used to following
rules. They do what they want and not what the
teachers says.
These children often have problems with teachers because they
enforce the rules. They may think they
are being picked on by the teachers. This can cause a lot of anger and self-pity and sadness. Children of
permissive parents may have a lot of issues with authority and authority figures.
The big problem with permissive parents is they don’t discipline their children.
They only intervene when things
get serious. One of the best treatments for childhood
behavior problems is parent training because many permissive
parents don’t know how to discipline their children. Instead they tend to bribe their children with candy or toys to get them to behave.
This can teach a child if they misbehave
they’ll get a treat which is the opposite of what you want to teach
them. Children need to learn to be good because it is the right
thing to do not because they’ll get
something.
Children need consistent rules,
discipline and consequences so they can learn
right from wrong and why things are
wrong, so they can learn appropriate behavior and so they can learn if they
do something wrong, they will be punished for it. Most teachers, school officials and police
aren’t going to let a child get away with bad behavior.
Children of overly permissive parents often have low self-esteem and tend to
be very unhappy. They are more likely to engage in underage
drinking, drug use or other risky behaviors.
These children are also at a greater
risk of developing depression because they don’t know how to deal with their own insecurities
and unhappiness. These children may be more likely to externalize their depression. It can come out
as anger, irritability, hopelessness
and behavior problems.
Many types of parenting can contribute to children’s issues like
depression and anxiety. I’ll talk about
overly strict parenting next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment